carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
