he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
