your room smells of hookers.
And success
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
