Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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