At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
