everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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