Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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