But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
They took my balls.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
