They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
