you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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