so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
