just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
