You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
