I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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