I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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