last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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