If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He felt like a one man threesome
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
