It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
