did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
