Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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