is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize