I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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