Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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