I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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