I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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