bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
