I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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