i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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