I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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