i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
