Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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