The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
