He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
