I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
