that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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