porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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