brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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