I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
