So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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