just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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