Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
