i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
