I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
