Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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