just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
love makes seman taste better
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
