Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just tell him i said nine months
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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