you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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