Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
