Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
