Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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