a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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