Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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