She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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