she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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