I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
