all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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