what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
