Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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